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The Picks: Cowboys at Texans

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It’s that time of week. Time to man up and make your pick for this week’s game. Get it right, and you can finally afford that rhinoplasty operation you’ve been dreaming of for years. The doctor has a slot open next Monday at 12:30AM. Remember: do not eat anything the day of your surgery, or else there could be ham clogging your new nose. Get it wrong, and it’s more “Mr. Beeks” jokes for you. Here we go:

Peter King: Texans 27, Cowboys 24. “Toughest game of the week to call.” Well, it would be if Dallas weren’t playing so, so horribly.

Six of Ten ESPN Experts: Texans. You mean they didn’t all agree in a gutless display of corporatized groupthink? Well, that counts as my upset of the week, people.

Michael Silver: Texans.

70% Of Yahoo! Users: Texans.

Pete Prisco (CBS): Cowboys.

Andy (Cowboys fan I know): Cowboys 27, Texans 10 (“Remember that New Orleans game last year no one said the Cowboys would win? Yes, I know every Cowboys fan is mentioning that game this week to show why Dallas can win. But it’s true! They always play well when they’re a complete train wreck! NEW ORLEANS NEW ORLEANS NEW ORLEANS LALALALA CAN’T HEAR YOUR REBUTTAL”)

Index Card I Threw Up In The Air With The Name Of Each Team On Either Side, Seeing Which Team Would Land Face Up: Texans (Index Card record: 1-1)

The Wife: Cowboys

Me: King wisely points out that Duane Brown’s suspension could mean that DeMarcus Ware will be able to run wild all day, and that’s certainly a decisive factor here. Then there’s that whole New Orleans precedent, wherein the Cowboys seem to play well enough in spots to keep Wade from being fired, despite the fact that Wade kinda really should be fired. I’m personally salivating at the prospect of an 0-3 start possibly leading to Wade’s early ouster, but he has a nasty habit of avoiding those fun doomsday scenarios. The laws of contrarian picks are urging me to take the Cowboys, despite seeing nothing from their offense that suggests they’ll get it together against Mario Williams and the gang. And despite the fact that this defense got shredded by Jay Cutler and now faces a far better offense with Matt Schaub and Arian Foster and the gang. Man, they’re kinda good. Much better than Dallas. Now that I think about it… TEXANS 21, COWBOYS 14

Yours in the comments.

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