Twitter. It baffles you. You think it’s dumb. And you’re really sick of people in the media talking about what Twitter means for the media. You're sick of hearing about tweets. And you’re sick of seeing every word transformed into TweetSpeak by adding a “tw” to the front: twudor, twittilated, WE LUV Twwilight!, and such and such.
Well, you may be in luck. Corporate America is slowly catching on to Twitter, and they aren’t too pleased about the idea of employees potentially spilling company secrets via poorly spelled 140-character midget-sized blog posts. And they’re really mad that they aren’t making any money from said posts.
So they’ve begun to crack down, forbidding workers from using Twitter to talk about their work or their assorted rashes. This is becoming increasingly prevalent in the NFL, where teams have become paranoid to the idea of players spilling key game plan and/or injury information via the popular website. The no-good libruls at New York Times report that both the Packers and the Dolphins have already expressly forbid players from using Twitter, particularly during team meetings. Vikings wideout Bernard Berrian got in trouble after tweeting that Tarvaris Jackson was out for the year as a joke. Don’t toy with my hopes like that, Bernard. A torn ACL on that guy would have had me jumping for joy.
That’s not all. Antonio Cromartie of the Chargers was fined $2,500 by the team after he tweeted a complaint about the food at training camp. To be fair to Antonio, the Chargers training camp menu only has pizza, and it costs $90.
This brings us to the Cowboys. As you know, the Cowboys already have one of the league’s most prolific tweeters in tight end Martellus Bennett. Bennett’s feed is harmless and has yet to divulge any sensitive news about the team, such as Jason Garrett’s plan to script 15 straight plays for Jason Witten for the opening of every game (you know it’s coming). But that doesn’t mean the team is comfortable with him tweeting nonstop. Blue Star asked team spokesman “Fancy” Jancy Briles if there was any official policy on Twitter. Her response?
“No, we do not have an official policy in place.”
That can change at any time, natch. I’m sure Jerry Jones enjoys some of the extra attention player feeds might be bring in. But, like with all other NFL teams, secrecy will likely win out and the team will eventually bring the hammer down, as even ESPN is now doing to their own talent (NBA writer Ric Bucher may even be suspended for his tweeting). Teams simply can’t risk the … twemptation. Huh? Huh?
Anyway, this will be a sad day if it comes to pass. I enjoy Marty B’s Twitter. Please, Double-J, don’t make me rely on other celebrity feeds, like Jessica Simpson’s:
I just woke up from a dream where I was told that if I ate a meatball sub I'd have to pee all day. Why would I dream that? I had to pee.
Twoo much information there, sweetheart.