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Six Fearless and Hopeless Predictions For Sunday At Houston

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    NEWSLETTERS

    *At some point in the game, Cowboys’ cornerback Terence Newman will encounter a ballcarrier in the open field. He will square his hips, get low, and make a great textbook tackle.

    *After a sack, a bead of Jay Ratliff’s sweat will get in Texans’ quarterback Matt Schaub’s  eye. Schaub will roll around on the ground because, you know, that stings. As a result, Ratliff will be flagged for a personal foul and then fined $25,000 by the National Football League. And somewhere, Ray Lewis will be pissed.

    *The Cowboys’ defense will force four turnovers, the offense will surrender none and the team will play a completely clean game--not a single penalty. Then, on cue, hell will freeze over and the FAA will be flooded with calls reporting flying pigs.

    *Kicker David Buehler will go 3-for-3 on field goal attempts in a 27-9 Cowboys loss. Wade Phillips will saunter into the press conference afterward, smirk at reporters and say, “Three for three--shows what you guys know.”

    *Quarterback Tony Romo will show up to the postgame press conference wearing a large tricornered hat. Fans will be highly confused, but also really glad he ditched the driving cap.

    *Late in the fourth quarter, offensive coordinator Jason Garrett will notice that Tashard Choice, Marion Barber and Felix Jones are wrapped up in Snuggies and fast asleep on the bench. “Oh, yeah,” Garrett will say to himself. “That ‘running’ thing.” He will then shrug, and call for a pass downfield.

     

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