1.) Wade Phillips will attend the game on Thursday, and afterward, be invited down to the locker room to say hello to his old players. Things will go surprisingly well, until he playfully punches Tony Romo in the shoulder, aggravating his fractured collarbone and ensuring that his return won’t come until the 2011 season.
2.) Prior to Sunday’s game, New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush and Cowboys’ receiver Miles Austin will exchange an odd handshake, later revealed to be the official greeting of the Kim Kardashian Ex-Boyfriends Club.
3.) Marion Barber will show up to Cowboys Stadium on Thursday sporting a Jheri curl. It will be aesthetically displeasing and he will leave stains on most of the couches in the locker room, but the days of him being corralled by his hair will be over.
4.) Tony Romo will be indicted on kitten fighting charges. However, the charges will be dropped when it’s determined by the Supreme Court that kitten fighting is not only not barbaric, but in fact, quite adorable.
5.) Gomer, patron saint of cowherds and, it’s generally thought, cowboys, will be really confused as to who he should root for on Thursday.
6.) Cowboys’ mascot Rowdy will live up to his name Thursday when, after the game, he is thrown out of a Dallas strip club for drinking excessively and inappropriately grabbing several of the dancers.
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