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Six Fearless, Hopeless Predictions For Sunday Vs. Jacksonville

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    NEWSLETTERS

    *On his way to the tunnel following a 28-point Cowboys loss, defensive end Igor Olshansky will find a penny on the ground. He will then break into an elaborate, celebratory dance. Questioned about this move later, Olshansky will snap, "I don't care what anyone says about me--when Igor finds a penny, Igor dances!"

    *Tony Romo will shock fans and the media when he starts for the Cowboys, and leads the team to a convincing win. Asked about his collarbone injury afterward, he will explain, “Ha! I’m fine, I was just messing with you guys.”

    *After a dropped pass, someone in the stands will say, “Miles Austin can’t catch a cold right now.” On Monday, this theory will be disproven when Austin shows up to Valley Ranch with a mean case of the sniffles.

    *Veteran Jon Kitna will lead the Cowboys to victory over the Jags on Sunday. Afterward, however, he will be visibly upset. Asked why, Kitna will explain that he was hoping to catch the Early Bird Special at IHOP.

    *Headlines in Jacksonville on Monday will read, “Jaguars Maul Cowboys.” This will be unrelated to the Dallas-Jacksonville game, though, and instead describe an incident at the Jacksonville Zoo, involving some Montana cowboys falling into a pit of jaguars.

    *Wade Phillips will finally show some fire when he’s overheard screaming at his team after Sunday’s game. Later, it will be revealed that the tirade had nothing to do with football, and everything to do with someone eating the last slice of pizza.

     

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