*In the third quarter of Sunday’s game, Titans’ cornerback Cortland Finnegan will put any question as to whether he is a dirty player to rest, as he produces a homemade shiv from his sock and attempts to stab several Cowboys. Afterward, he will attribute the move to “Good, hard football.”
*Golfer Hunter Mahan won’t feel so bad about his flubbed chip shot on the seventeenth hole at the Ryder Cup when he remembers he’s engaged to the obscenely hot former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, Kandi Harris (who can be seen in all her fineness here).
*Chris Johnson will run for 200 yards and four touchdowns on Sunday. Afterward, Jerry Jones will be asked if he is still happy with his decision to take Felix Jones over Johnson in the 2008 draft. Jerry will reply, “Hey, look over there!” and run from the locker room.
*The night before the game, quarterback Tony Romo will have a dream wherein he forgets to put on his pants before taking the field Sunday. Then, someone will pinch Romo and he’ll realize--”Oh no! This isn’t a dream at all!”
*After the game, Titans’ quarterback Vince Young will take a trip to the Dallas strip joint, Club Onyx. Someone there will make a derogatory remark about the Texas Longhorns, adding the always insulting “upside-down longhorn” gesture. In the middle of the ensuing brawl, Young will look up and exclaim to no one in particular, “Deja vu!”
*The Texas Rangers will win their American League Division Series with the Tampa Bay Rays with a 4-0 win in game four, on Sunday. The game will end in the bottom of the ninth, on a walkoff grand slam by Josh Hamilton and Cliff Lee will no-hit the Rays, posting 12 strikeouts in the process. The headlines of the Dallas Morning News on Monday morning will scream, “Cowboys top Titans, 6-3.”
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