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Roy Williams Too Lazy To Write Down Large Numbers

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    NEWSLETTERS

    Before he suffered a bruised shoulder in practice Thursday night, this was shaping up to be a relatively promising preseason for Cowboys wideout Roy Williams. He showed flashes of being a legitimate No. 1 wideout in the Titans game. He was clicking with Tony Romo. He looked strong. He looked determined. In other words, he was starting to NOT look like the lazy fellow we saw wasting roster space last season.

    But even as Williams has seemingly improved, there’s always that fear in the back of your mind that, at any second, Williams could easily revert back to old habits. Take it from someone who was born lazy. It’s a real effort for people like me to make an effort, or even to appear like I’m making an effort when I’m really not. I’m always eagerly awaiting the days when I can, once again, unapologetically half-ass everything. And, judging from this little tidbit in Peter King’s Monday Morning Quarterback column from Monday, it would appear that Roy Williams and I are two of a kind.  

    Roy Williams, the Dallas wide receiver, wears No. 11 for two reasons:

    1. He thinks it makes him look slim. 2. It’s an easy number to write when giving an autograph.

    On that first point, here’s a picture of Roy Williams shirtless. I don’t think Roy’s in danger of people thinking he’s a fatass. If anyone on that team should be wearing No. 11, it’s Coach Phillips.

    But it’s the second point about Williams’ number that has to worry you. Roy Williams can lift and run to his heart’s content. At the end of the day, he’s still someone who finds it a Herculean task to write down big numbers. Like, say, the always-challenging number 8. Look at that thing. All those crazy curves. It’s like the Matterhorn of written numerals. YOU’D BE INSANE TO TRY AND TACKLE SUCH A NUMBER WITH ONLY ONE PEN.

    So consider this your warning, Cowboys fans. Williams looked like a gamer a week ago. But you never know when the Sherman Williams in him is gonna break out. Especially if you ask him to sign your program.