HARLOTTE, NC - OCTOBER 29: Owner Jerry Jones of the Dallas Cowboys watches the game against the Carolina Panthers on October 29, 2006 at Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte, North Carolina. The Cowboys won 35-14. (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
"In a fit of enthusiastic madness I created a rational creature and was bound towards him to assure, as far as was in my power, his happiness and well-being . . . I refused, and I did right in refusing, to create a companion for the first creature. He showed unparalleled malignity and selfishness in evil; he destroyed my friends ." Mary Shelley, Frankenstein.
Much like Dr. Frankenstein, Jerry Jones created a monster. And, much like Dr. Frankenstein, he is now scared of that monster.
Scared sh**less, as it were.
Jones said as much in his Tuesday night appearance on HBO's Joe Buck Live, as he and Mavs' owner Mark Cuban discussed being major professional sports owners, genitalia size and fear-induced bowel-emptying. Yes, it sounds like a winner, and indeed it was. You can see the full video (Thanks to DC Fanatic) right here.
"I don't mind telling you, I'm scared s***less with the new stadium in Dallas, Texas," Jerry said Tuesday, much to the chagrin of residents and public leaders in Arlington, Texas. "Now, about eight months ago, you had banks in this country that were the greatest in the world that you didn't know if, how that was going to go either. And so we had 3,000 workers and $40 million a month going out to build that stadium.
"It made you want to go out there and say 'maybe we ought to cut, maybe we ought to slow down,' but at the end of the day, because what's going to take is not government, what it's really going to take is to go out and sell, and create jobs and have confidence and get people involved that aren't involved."
Mark Cuban can attest, presumably, to the knicker-staining aspects of ownership.
"Jerry, you had the biggest ones out there, because it will scare you sh**less, because your whole life is on the line," added Cuban. (Jones had earlier complemented Cuban on the size of his testes). "It's a zero-sum game, because if it doesn't work, when you're signing away, you're begging banks, you're hoping that the revenue comes through because if there aren't 105,000 people, first week, second week, third week, fourth week, someone's still got to pay the bills."
Indeed, Mr. Cuban; someone with cojones like coconuts and, ostensibly, a colon like a barren plain.