Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones.
Annnnd we’re back.
Been on a long honeymoon, so allow me some time to catch up on the Cowboys’ coaching moves.
So head coach Jason Garrett has finally gotten his wish and been allowed to hand-pick his offensive coordinator, buddy and co-pass-happy philosopher Scott Linehan. Great, so … Wait, what? Linehan is merely the passing game coordinator? Ohhhhkaaay.
But he’ll also call plays? Got it. I think. By my math that’ll be three play-callers in three seasons. Kinda sad for Bill Callahan, who obviously will find another job in … He what? You mean to tell me the Cowboys are demoting Callahan and stripping him of duties, while allowing him to keep his title of offensive coordinator and denying teams permission to talk to him about leaving? Sounds cozy.
So it’s Garrett’s offensive system, Callahan’s diluted coordination and Linehan’s play-calling.
More confusing than crossing the International Date Line in Fiji, but go on. I think I got it.
And on defense Jerry Jones is admitting another mistake and restoring some of Garrett’s power by elevating Rod Marinelli to defensive coordinator and firing Monte Kiffin. No? Then who? Doing what? Marinelli is the new coordinator, but his former boss Kiffin has also been demoted to a new title of assistant coach/defense. What does that even mean? And where does that leave Kiffin, as the football version of former Rangers’ bench coach Jackie Moore – a trusted, grizzled lieutenant left to peer over Marinelli’s shoulder?
At this point I don’t know whether to dare to attempt to construct a Cowboys’ coaching flow chart or simply page Abbott & Costello for some “Who’s On First?” clarity.
Garrett has more authority. Kiffin still has a job. Linehan is a new voice. Callahan is the least powerful offensive coordinator in NFL history. And this dysfunctional kitchen has way too many cooks.
Last off-season Jones promised it would be “uncomfortable” at Valley Ranch. I guess this winter he’s aiming for undecipherable?
I only thought I was confused by the folks in Australia driving on the wrong side of the road.