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FlagGate The Dumbest Controversy In The History Of Dumb Controversies

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    Hey, how about that Cowboys Stadium? Pretty, ain’t it? It’s got everything you could ever want: food, football, cage dancers, battle stations. But apparently, that isn’t good enough for some people. Turns out there’s a growing faction of people out there demanding that Jerry Jones hang a US flag inside the stadium. And, of course, if he doesn’t, THEN WE SHOULD DEPORT HIS ASS!

    From the AP:

    ARLINGTON, Texas (AP) -- Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is facing a growing chorus from fans wanting a permanent U.S. flag displayed inside his nearly $1.2 billion stadium.

    They aren't satisfied by the stars and stripes covering the entire field, as was the case before the first regular-season game at cavernous Cowboys Stadium in September.

    Nor is it enough to have the flag waving on 25,000 square feet of video boards at the new venue in Arlington.

    Fans are buzzing with frustration, from political radio talk shows to newspaper letters to the editor.

    Jones says it's a logistical issue because the stadium is so big. He also says the giant video board limits the team's ability to display banners anywhere in the stadium.

    Okay, if you’re the sort of person participating in this grass roots effort to get a flag hung inside Cowboys Stadium, kindly go find a wall to stare at. Honestly, do you not have anything better to do? It’s a football stadium. It’s not the Alamo. And Cowboys Stadium already exemplifies the three things we Americans hold dear: it’s too big, too expensive, and it will make you fat. THEY ALREADY DISPLAY THE FLAG ON A BOARD THAT’S 60 FREAKIN’ YARDS LONG. Will having a cloth version of that flag really make a difference? No, it will not.

    Oh my God! I just realized the McDonald’s near my house ALSO has no American flag in it! WHAT THE HELL? And neither does that Sonoco station? IT’S A FLAG SNUBBING EPIDEMIC AND WE’LL ALL DIE IF WE DON’T PLASTER EVERY EDIFICE IN THE NATION WITH OUR SYMBOL OF FREEDOM!

    Don’t these people have town halls to disrupt?