Every Friday, we’ll tackle five big questions for the Cowboys going into the weekend’s game.
1. What day is this game on? Saturday. That’s tomorrow. DON’T FORGET! If you forget, you’ll wake up Sunday, and you’ll be all jazzed to watch the Cowboys play, and then you’ll turn on the TV only to realize you missed the entire thing. That would be horrible. Unless the Cowboys lose by 30, in which case you may have done yourself a favor. The game will be on NFL Network, and broadcast locally in the Dallas area on CBS. I’m sure Troy Aikman will find his way into the broadcast somehow.
2. We all know what happens if the Cowboys lose this game. But what if the improbable happens and they WIN? I know! That would be so weird! You wouldn’t even know what to think then, would you? If the Cowboys beat the Saints, the matter-of-fact fallout is that they will retain at least a one game lead for the NFC’s final Wild Card spot. And should the Eagles lose to San Fran (which they certainly can do), the Cowboys would be back on top in the East. They’ll have also beaten a 13-0 team at home. Now, do you take a win like that and convince yourself that this Dallas team has what it takes to follow in the footsteps of the ’07 Giants and ’08 Cardinals and go on a late season sweep through the conference to the Super Bowl? Hey, you may as well. GO NUTS. GET DRUNK. STEAL BEADS FROM A SAINTS FAN AND SPIT IN HIS EYE. It would be a good win like that.
3. Will DeMarcus Ware play in this game? He’s a game-time decision. My hunch is that he plays, and that you will say a rosary every time he breaks down to tackle someone.
4. I really want the Cowboys to win, but Drew Brees has carried my fantasy team all year long, and this week is our title game. I’m conflicted. What do I do? See, that’s the beauty of being terrible at fantasy football. I never have these worries come fantasy playoff time. Because I’m never in it.
5. Is it true the Saints do not bleed? Not true. They are human. They can be beat. They bleed. And as any fan of Predator knows, if it bleeds, we can kill it.