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Fearless, Hopeless Predictions Vs. San Francisco

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    NEWSLETTERS

    *In an effort to assuage the awkwardness of the NFL’s new ankles-up “pat-down” policy, the 49ers will blare Keith Sweat songs over he PA system as fans enter the stadium. The measure will not work, however, and instead will lead to many of the aforementioned fans going directly home to take a shower.

    *Alex Smith will have a poor showing against Dallas’s banged up secondary, going 11-for-21 for 89 yards and an interception. On the bright side, he will draw high praise from ESPN radio personality Colin Cowherd for wearing his hat correctly on the sidelines.

    *Frank Gore will go yet another week without scoring a touchdown. That guy in your fantasy league who drafted him in the mid-first round will whine about this for no less than six days.

    *In the third quarter, a famished Jerry Jones will order a pizza to his luxury suite. The deliveryman will make it to his door quickly, before dropping the pizza on the ground, ruining it, and causing a big mess of everything. Nonetheless, Jerry will praise the deliveryman for doing an otherwise outstanding job.

    *Tony Romo will lead the Cowboys into the fourth quarter of Sunday’s game with a 21-point lead over San Francisco. Dallas fans will still be pretty nervous.

     

     

     

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