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Fearless, Hopeless Predictions For Monday Night Vs. Washington

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    NEWSLETTERS

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    *ESPN announcers will refrain from referring to Cowboys Stadium as proof that everything is, in fact, bigger in Texas.

    *Speaking to his young offensive line prior to the game, Tony Romo will reference an old episode of “Saved By The Bell.” Kyle Kosier notwithstanding, the allusion will draw blank stares from the group of young 20-somethings. "Who's Kelly Kapowski?" Tyron Smith will respond.

    *Redskins’ owner Dan Snyder will notice a sign in the crowd that makes light of his diminutive physical stature, prompting him to demand that his cronies find the offending fan and sue him for all he’s worth. Then he’ll laugh maniacally, like Mr. Burns or “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase.

    *Tony Romo will once again show his toughness on Monday night, when, after the game, he finishes an entire thing of Wendy’s fries despite having a paper cut on his finger. No, seriously, that’s almost impossible.

    *DeAngelo Hall will make good on his promise, delivering a hit to Romo’s ribs in the third quarter of Monday night’s game. Then, surprising Hall by getting up quickly and dusting himself off, Romo will say to the defensive back, “Wrong side, stupid.”

    *DeMarcus Ware will continue his early hot streak, sacking Washington’s Rex Grossman thrice. Grossman won’t be hurt physically, but he’ll be devastated emotionally when, after the third sack, Ware points out that “Rex” is a dog’s name.

    Ware, in turn, will learn that words can hurt just as much as tackles.

     

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