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Fearless, Hopeless Predictions: Cowboys-Eagles, Pt. 2

The Cowboys and Eagles will meet on Christmas Eve in a division showdown

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    NEWSLETTERS

    *Replacing Felix Jones as the Cowboys’ featured running back, 12-year veteran Sammy Morris will rush for 101 yards, making him the first 100-yard rusher all season who remembers voting for Bill Clinton in the ’96 election.

    *A local man, usually known as somewhat of a grinch during the Holiday Season, will finally get in the Christmas spirit after seeing the Cowboys cheerleaders jiggling about in their sexy Mrs. Clause outfits. And, really, who could blame him.

    *As the final seconds run out on a Cowboys’ victory, chants of “Fire Andy” (in reference to Eagles’ head coach Andy Reid) will be heard throughout the stadium. Which will be weird, and kind of impressive, as these chants will be coming from Philly, and the game will be played in Arlington.

    *After the victory on Christmas Eve, Jerry Jones will be visited by three ghosts, of Christmas Past, Present and Future. As a result, he’ll decide against forcing Jason Garrett to work on Christmas Day, and instead give Garrett and his family a grand Christmas ham to eat.

    *Injured backup quarterback Jon Kitna (who also remembers voting for Clinton) will give all of his teammates crisp $2 bills for Christmas. Because that’s what old people do, you see.

    Happy Holidays, all.

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