Tight end Jason Witten stands on the field.
So here’s a cute little story. Earlier today the Dallas Morning News did an interview with Cowboys backup QB Stephen McGee. And in that interview, McGee talks about the time during OTA’s when he made fun of Jason Witten’s bald spot, and Witten calmly and rationally responded to that mild taunt by burying McGee’s car in sand and manure.
“After the practice facility fell down they were re-doing our fields at the time. It was my first OTAs and I had commented on Jason Witten’s bald spot… When we got back from practice my car was gone. They had these big piles of dirt and debris and all kind of stuff. And they had filled in dirt piles around my car back where the old shed is…he told me, ‘Don’t talk about my bald spot,' or something. … They were re-sodding the fields and they had sand and manure. There were several piles of stuff that they had been using to work on the field. They pulled it in there and dumped a pile of sand, a pile of the manure stuff, it stunk terrible. I couldn’t get my car out. I ended up driving through the sand. I had a little sports car. It wasn’t made to go through sand piles.”
That strikes me as a totally equal and deserved reaction for mentioning that someone has thinning hair.
Seriously though, I think I’d be legitimately upset if someone decided to bury my car in doodoo. There’s such a fine line between rookie hazing and actual crime. And if someone ruined my car just because they can’t take a crack about a freakin’ bald spot, I dare say I’d complain about the punishment not fitting the violation. I mean, all Roy Williams did was have a rookie carry his shoulder pads. I wonder how Dez Bryant would have reacted if Witten had buried his car in cow patties. SCISSORS TO THE NECK!
So anyway, if you see Jason Witten on the street, don’t mention his bald spot. Apparently, he’s a real wet blanket about it.