We'll start with the bad news: You aren't going to get to watch Tony Romo choke in the playoffs this season, which is a real pity. Now, are you ready for the good news? Excellent. Thanks to the mysterious tiebreaking procedures that the NFL uses to determine the NFL draft order (strength of schedule, aggregate team weight, monkey throwing darts at board), your Cowboys are picking 14th in April's draft, ahead of five other teams that finished with identical 8-8 records.
This is a loaded draft, and not just because Andrew Luck and RGIII are in it. There's talent to be had at virtually every position, and Lord knows these Cowboys could use help at every position. The Sporting News already has Dallas picking Clemson d-lineman Brandon Thompson, who plays on a defense that gave up SEVENTY points last night. Oh, gimme him!
I'd like to take a moment today to rank the team's most glaring needs:
1. General Manager. Unfortunately, you can't draft one of these. Plus you wouldn't want him clashing with the "full-time owner," as the Double J so reasonably put it.
2. Defensive Back. You know things are bad when your nickelback is your best cornerback. I don't know why Terence Newman wasn't cut at halftime last week. Cris Collinsworth always uses a Sunday Night broadcast to single out one player for praise (Victor Cruz!), and one player for scorn. Newman was his whipping boy Sunday Night, and rightfully so. Did you know they conduct the vertical leap test at the NFL combine by having prospects jump over Terence Newman? That's a fact.
3. Linebacker. There's Sean Lee, and that's really about it. Bradie James will be gone. The corpse of Keith Brooking will be gone. This team is in dire need of interior linebackers who can cover.
4. Interior Offensive Line. As enjoyable as it is to make fun of Tony Romo, he was running for his life most of this season, particularly in the final Giants game. Kyle Kosier tore his MCL. Phil Costa can barely snap the ball. The middle of this o-line is a glaring hole that defenses are happy to Double-A blitz into submission. Jerry has been all about making unsexy moves the past few years. Drafting a guard would keep with the trend.
5. Defensive line. But preferably not from a team that just got a 70-burger hung on them.
6. Quarterback. Just kidding. OR AM I?!!