PHILADELPHIA, : Charles Barkley watches as a banner with his uniform number that he wore as a Philadelphia 76ers, #34, is raised to the rafters inside the First Union Center during a half-time ceremony in the game between the Philadelphia 76ers and the Golden State Warriors 30 March 2001 in Philadelphia, PA. AFP PHOTO/TOM MIHALEK (Photo credit should read TOM MIHALEK/AFP/Getty Images)
We at Blue Star have spent a great deal of energy warning you about the dangers of being labeled in a chic Super Bowl pick in the preseason. It never turns out well. I’m telling you people, if you come across a preseason publication that picks Dallas to win it all, you should not be enthused. You should be cowering in FEAR and TERROR. I highly recommend you burn that publication. Leave no trace of it. And then, publish your own preseason periodical that picks Dallas to go 3-13. Just to balance the scales.
Because too many people are hopping on the Dallas bandwagon right now. And the latest person to throw his massive girth aboard? Yep, it’s defenestration enthusiast and noted casino donor Charles Barkley. No! Not Charles! Don't let him on the bandwagon! There won't be any tequila and Combos left for anyone if he's allowed on!
I think the two teams to beat are the Cowboys and the Green Bay Packers. I think they are clear favorites in the NFC. In the playoff, I would take whoever had the home field. Because I think they are the two best teams there.
Thankfully, Charles’ prediction is diluted with the inclusion of the Packers, who are themselves a chic pick, the chosen team of both WhatIfSports and the ever-lofty Peter King. Still, neither team can be pleased with Chuck’s stamp of approval. This man loses more gambling every year than Bear Stearns lost going out of business. He’s like a gambling death trap. If Charles bets on your team, your team is not only losing, but may also become victimized by a mutant zombie virus outbreak. Nothing good has ever come of Charles Barkley liking your team.
Which is why I suggest all you Cowboys fans band together, buy Charles a keg of beer, and then convince him to hit the MGM futures book and throw down twenty large on the Redskins to win it all. You know Chuck is down for a keg or two. Make it happen, Dallas. Otherwise, bad things are on the horizon.
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