Jessica Simpson, fat people

Burger King Tastelessly Mocks Jessica’s Weight During FOX Pregame

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My only experience with Burger King during NFL telecasts is when they have those little interstitial cartoons where the King and the FOX robot engage in spirited hijinks, which I do not care about. Well apparently, Burger King also does a little cartoon short in conjunction with FOX NFL Sunday every week. And oh man, do they suck. It’s like the old Sports Guy cartoon on an even lower budget.

Anyway, this week’s short took time out to make fun of Tony Romo dating Jessica Simpson. More specifically, it included any number of jokes about Jessica’s weight from a fictional Cowboys locker room.

Cartoon Marion Barber: “Man, I still can’t believe Tony dated Jessica Simpson, even AFTER she blew up bigger than Flozell Adams!”
Cartoon Jason Witten: “Unlike Tony, at least Jessica comes up big when it counts!”

Cartoon Wade Phillips: “Say Tony, is Jessica around? We could use a defensive tackle!”

Oh, I get it! She got heavy! That would be so funny if they still dated. And Jessica hadn’t slimmed back down. And her dog hadn’t been killed. And those jokes hadn’t been written by Leno’s writing staff. Otherwise, DEADLY FUNNY.

I don’t need to point out that perhaps it would be unwise for Burger King to make jokes about people’s weight, given the type of food they serve. I went to Burger King once. I spent the next 72 hours sweating petroleum jelly. Whole Foods, they are not.

Crispin, Porter and Bogusky, the ad agency that handles most of Burger King’s work, is legendary in the ad world for finding new and innovative ways of integrating brands into new and traditional media (witness their brilliant Subservient chicken Web site). But for every cool “Truth” ad they pump out, they’re just as prone to churn out a horrific “Das Auto” ad for VW, or something as aggressively pointless as this.

Here’s an idea for Crispin, FOX, and Burger King: Go away and let me enjoy the game. Ripping on some girl’s weight isn’t gonna make me run out for chicken fries.

BY Drew Magary // Wednesday, Oct 14, 2009 at 08:55 CDT

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          MATT BARRIE

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          Co-founder of Kissing Suzy Kolber, columnist for Deadspin, and author of Men With Balls, now in bookstores.

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